A Reflection on a OB/GYN Rotation by Gil Harmon
I’ve just completed my OB/GYN rotation, and to be honest it was everything I thought it would be and many things that I didn’t think it would be. It was the best of times….and the worst of times….all at once. When I started my third year of medical school, one of the first things I looked at on my schedule was where “the dreaded” OB/GYN rotation fell. It came near the very end, so I had the entire year to think about how I would approach the many ethical dilemmas that I would inevitably face as a Catholic. Finally, it came, and I quickly found myself in situations that I could not have imagined before it began.
In a meditation I once did several years ago, I read that we as Catholics should view things that we fear as places where we need to be closer to God. This valuable advice has been of great importance to me as I’ve addressed the various obstacles that every budding Catholic physician faces. With our faith in the Lord, whom shall we fear? As we walk through the valley of darkness, what is there to fear with the Lord at our side? Is not the feeling of fear a sign from God that we have work to do in that area? Despite prayerfully knowing that God is always with me, I feared my OB/GYN rotation in the worst way. I feared the situations that I would be put into. I was afraid that I wouldn’t know what the Catholic teachings are on certain complex issues.
As my rotation began, I quickly realized that the reputation preceding gynecologic care was true in many ways. Most of my reproductive age patients were on contraceptives. Many were in clinic for IUD placements or counseling on sterilization methods. I quickly realized that being Catholic in this environment meant standing up for what I believe in a bold way. I was tempted many times to just go along with what was happening. I would rationalize by thinking, “Well, I’m not the one prescribing the contraceptive. Why should I make a big deal about being present?” or “That procedure is both sterilizing and for another purpose. Do I have to tell the surgeon that I need to leave the OR?”
God held me in His hands. Day after day he gave me the strength to go against the grain. I asked not to be a part of many of my assigned patients’ care. I didn’t scrub in on c-sections where tubal ligations would be done before closure. I declined to continue active participation in an ectopic pregnancy case where methotrexate was elected to be the treatment. I refrained from participation in many gyn clinic patients who were only there for contraceptive refills. There are more cases than I can honestly remember, but I gained strength with each stance that I took for our faith.
I thought objecting on rights of conscience grounds would be easy, but in practice, I realized that telling an attending that I could not be a part of patient care because I disagree with it morally doesn’t always go over too well. Many of my preceptors asked me why I believe what I do. I had to come prepared daily to answer them. My beliefs were directly attacked. Many preceptors told me that they too were Catholic but that they felt their actions (though in contradiction with Church teaching) were appropriate. There were many cases that challenged my knowledge of the faith and many others that were so gray to me that I didn’t know the right thing to do.
I feared that my evaluations would be overshadowed by the number of times I couldn’t go into rooms where contraception would be prescribed. I became exhausted each evening by studying not only the appropriate medical science, but also the entire panel of patients for the next day for any indication where I might not be able to be a part of their care. I had to be particularly diligent in the cases where I knew that I would not be briefed about the patient’s chief complaint in advance. I was the only practicing Catholic on the rotation, and I knew that I was alone amongst my medical student colleagues in this regard. I was disgusted in knowing that abortions were taking place only a few rooms away. I was disgusted by the attitude that contraception is the only way to treat our fertility. I felt alone everyday….
….but I was never alone. God was with me, and the beautiful part of this rotation was the many ways that He taught me to love. I have never been so proud to be Catholic. I have never felt so strongly called to help people see the beauty of our Catholic faith and to explain to them why we believe what we do. I facilitated more conversations about life and the intended beauty of our sexuality than in any other rotation. I learned a great deal about Catholic teaching, having to look up the specifics on difficult moral situations. I found solace in knowing that God was proud of my work and that I was laying the groundwork for the Catholic students that will do this rotation in years to come.
Shortly after I completed the rotation, I attended a meeting that has begun laying the groundwork for an alternative OB/GYN clerkship that will be “NFP only” and pro-life in every way. There is truly light at the end of the tunnel. The world hears what Catholics are teaching…not all the time, and not always quickly…but we are heard. People see our joy, and ask us why we are joyful. They see our way of life, and begin asking questions. I came into this rotation dreading its difficulty, and I found difficulty…but through turmoil and times of trial, God helps us grow. I am profoundly thankful for my time in OB/GYN, and honestly, I would do it again in a heartbeat.
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